Andros. Jasmine. Jade. Sybil. Bastian. Rhodes.

its you, my best friend, that i want to hold. before the muscles on your arms faded into another life, a new life, one where you're happy, with an-other life. a new home, new walls, to breathe onto and not beyond, i am here, waiting, still, for the life we never had. together. my brother. your forehead and forearms b[e]aring signs, that which engendered us, brought us here, from that mist that placed us gently on this dust, here we are now and i can't seem to believe that we were ever more than this in the past. do you remember? the words have bled out of your mouth, faded into pale, and dropped like petals for us to read now from left to right. i miss you.

drink. from thy cup. drink. and grant thee the rest.

moving fast... whether they claim its a river or a creek... and yet, i want to sit in it, still, forever sometimes, lost. alone. together. embraced. forgotten. brought back to life. allowed to float upside down, able to drift into the larger sea, and still float... but really, it needs to be let down. slower. the rice that grows needs to drink and here we are drinking it all dry... waiting, still, sitting, still here waiting, moving fast.

alive, i said.

serious, ze said. the way the feet stepped like letters on the old machine. walking slowly under water. forward, until, ze masked zir laughs with highpitched stones thrown through the air, into the deepest part, pounding in. to plant their way. i can't see this more clearly- as if my eyes are swollen over with pillows drenched with your immobilized dreams. you can't remember, you say, but there they are- like cotton around me, i watch as the set rolls out the characters' acts.
and then they were pulling zir out.
i knew it was my fault. i knew there was more i could have done. .i knew. that if our intensity were less, if our words weren't as heavy and if maybe we had been able to swallow them down.. maybe....... just maybe....... things could have been different . right . now ..
but thats what happens, ze reassures me in my dreams, when we give up floating on the surface.